Loose lips

I sabotage myself, I mean for the most part of my life I know I do. I don't want anything to happen with anyone in any event for any reason.

But in consolation I just drown it all out nowadays, drown it and cover it up because I don't want it. I guess that's not really a consolation, or maybe I just didn't mean to type that because I'm trailing off into something else.

My consolation was.. is that there's probably one or two things worth anything to me.

This excerpt (in actuality a whole song.. rather) sums current mood.

*Deep breath*

Two to one
Static to the sound of you and I
Undone for the last time
And there this was
Hiding at the bottom of your
Swimming pool some September
And don't you think
I wish I could stay
Your lips give you away

I can hear it, the jet engine
Through the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I'd
Prefer not to be rescued

Two to none
Roads that lead away from this
I'm following myself just this once
And I've got spun
It appears you're spun as well
It happens when you pay attention
This could take all year, but

When it's quiet, does she hear me?
Jettisoned to the center of the storm
And I'm thinking I
Prefer not to be rescued
Oh, I can feel her, she's dying
Just to keep me cool
I'm finally numb, so please
Don't get me rescued... rescued...

And it's unclear
But this may be my last song
Oh, I, I can tell
She's raising hell to give to me
She got me warm
So please don't get me rescued
Oh, say you'll miss me one last time
I'll be strong, but whatever you do
Please don't get me rescued...

'Cause I'm feeling like
I might need to be near you
And I feel alright, so please
Don't get me rescued...

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I'll keep lying awake at night.. and lying for the days.
Sorry, again.

Goodbye, Horses.