...sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."
-Lloyd
Dobler (John
Cusack)
I watched the movie Say Anything recently, I thought I should since my favourite band (one of) happens to be named that.
But that isn't really the point.
My actual point, well, more so self realisation in the form of a blog that no one reads is that for a career I don't want to work for anyone. And if I don't want to work for anyone, it means I have to work for myself.. or.. with myself, no.. by myself, but with others that don't possess a contract owning me as a worker. I think they call this entrepreneur or sole proprietor, self employed maybe.
Working where I am now, which is of no consequence to the
invisibles that read this, has made me realise that I don't want to be in a job, or a life where I have to trouble myself to satisfy their needs, go out of my way to
accommodate for them. I mean, I'll be helpful, but to a point - the point being where if they don't like it and I don't feel like doing it, that is the end. No transaction, no service, nothing. It's bad enough that the people around me at employment become the kind of scum I hang up on (read as: I'd hang up on if anyone called me) because it's in their nature to be like that, the species of annoying, brown-nosing person
pleaser. But it's even worse that my actual job title is classed the same as them, despite my approach, roles and responsibilities being completely different. I guess I'm supposed to be grateful to have a job since, you know,
every ones feeling this possibly-green-house induced heat known as a financial crisis.
What's so bad about it?
This has probably been overdone, actually, it has been overdone since I have nothing else to read at work, except our self produced paper (*hint hint employment locale*). But really, so what if a few thousands of people have lost their job, the unemployment rate is still relatively low to what it used to be say, 10 years ago - and that was considered low.
I guess everyone was ordering some perspective for tea during the boom, a new dish, expensive dish to go with their recently found high paying job called perspective, because they felt wealthy. But what they forgot is that it comes with a
side plate containing some kind of financially induced turmoil. Who could be surprised though? With that order of perspective, was their not a complimentary glass of economic theory, you know, the one that at first tastes like a sweet boom and follows with a bitter aftertaste of recession? I know, I know. You will all say it doesn't follow a strict pattern of ups and downs because Keynesian economics says that would be a misnomer (-
noun 1. a misapplied or inappropriate name or designation). Why would that surprise the average, uneducated blue collar coal digger who lost their job after being talked into becoming a tradesmen due to the temporary shortage and being overpaid for two years?
You have the dole. I'm sorry that it's not enough to support the
maintenance and fuel costs associated with running your newly bought second-hand Holden Commodore Wagon, but, you know, life is... well, a balloon pumped up with cliche's, slowly releasing them for your repetition at the local bogan (I'm sorry I couldn't think of an educated title) pub around your associates when asked 'hows ya garrrn?'.
I apologise, this was actually meant to be about me and my utter resent towards working for anyone that isn't me.
I'll resume.
Anyway, my thoughts on becoming an entreprenurial, self-employed sole proprietor.
My initial... well, my only idea thus far has been retail. Perhaps not a physical store since I am not interested in serving physical people, but rather ghosts in their shells (yeah, you like that allusion?) across the interweb. I could do it, I'd just stock the brands I like, or at least the cheap, Asian-manufactured clothing I buy when I'm overseas that fit and look just as good as the overpriced ones. Marketing wouldn't be particularly hard either, Facebook would do most of that for free and my limited amount of friends... to an extent. Although I'd probably have to give them free things to do it since most of them are employed in the business of being selfish pricks.
Ahhh everything is just a cloud in the sky right now. Waiting for my lack of will to pilot the airship towards.
I'm done. I think next time I'll talk (write) about something pleasant. You know, the ones that make me not... disliking everything so much.
Goodbye, Horses.
I have this dream where I am locked inside a room, the room is my mind. Locked with me are a thousand (figurative) people all ready to fight each other, to kill each other, with me standing in the center. The only thing keeping them from fighting each other is my memory, the memories I have with all these people that are glued together, individually with me. But the tethers wear thin, because I am losing these memories. I am not forgetting them, or forgetting the people, but I am losing it all. I know I am because I can feel it. Every single day it gets worse, I feel less and less like I belong here. My ties to this place dwindle because I should be some where else... I need to be some where else.
