I felt like I was so attached to all those items just because they were mine and formed part of what I would do in a day or a week or a month. Or maybe because I had to substitute them in as friends due to overprotective parents forbidding me from visiting the other children.
I must have had hundreds of things that at the time seemed like they meant so much to me.
Now, I maybe have a dozen possessions that I would consider integral to my day to day living, even still I feel like if I had to, I could part with them. I still have a lot of trinkets laying about, but really they don't do anything aside from fill up space. I would leave them here when I move out. I think my ideal room would be mostly empty. All these items don't mean much in the way of who I am because I don't even know what kind of identity I have, or even want.
I have no real belief in anything
I have no opinions on topical matters
I have no real taste
I dislike it when people say they like/dislike 'my style' - I just don't want to be naked in public
I would purge myself of most of my worldly belongings, but then banter from those within this abode on that tiresome concept waste not, want not would be somewhat troublesome.
I wonder what it feels like to be pertinent and have common sense.
I have been largely unsuccessful in securing a new career. I think it really has come down to my lack of presence in the interviews. I have no desperation nor anything resembling the desire to try. I guess this is where unemployment/poverty would help.
I wish I had a story to tell them, I must come off plain. But I guess it cannot be helped.
I'm not sure if I even want a job with my degree, or even full time work. I think I am doing too much to myself now, I am constantly exhausted. Not just physically, but my mind seems to be else where a lot of the time. I guess it is because I have people burdening me with their insignificant cries for attention/affection. People that I have no interest in.
I guess that is some motivation to try to succeed, so that I can have fresh people to trouble me and at least this way I know it will be for the future good.
I really do feel like a solo escape. I was thinking to Greece since the Euro seems to be plummeting upon the news of carious collapsing economies. But I feel I would be too timid to travel alone and it would be difficult to take photos featuring me, especially with the scenery the Cyclades has to offer. Ios seems like a nice island to visit.
I need more books to feed my mind. I purchased the remaining Salinger items, but I have already read them before. I need more in depth music to enrich my feelings too. I haven't felt anything from a song for a long while. But I guess there aren't many songs about what I think about or tend to feel.
I need to experience something / someone new.
I will wake up in this room and realise I am insane again.
~Goodbye, horses
